germainium [-]

Can you tl;dr the entire bible for me now? kthanxbai

poopooonyou [-]

The bible according to /b/

Old Testament; God creates the universe and he sees it’s serious buisness, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her “Apple of GTFO” (cuz she was already showing tits), She chooses the former and then she and her f*ck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then alot of serious incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains alot, really)

Then later God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it from behind him and killing the ancient Nazis. God lol’d.

Some other less important stuff happens, mostly composed of a bunch of idiots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.

New Testament; God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born, for his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus moar cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God mode turned on though, so he waited three days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life’s server, and laughed at the Jews.

After that 3 more guys tell the same story, then this fag Paul wrote an assload of crap about sex being evil and a bunch of other crap that Jesus never said.

THE END.

Jigsus [-]

Old testament tldr: Eye for an eye dawg.

New testament tldr: Be good to each other… and stop the eye poking you’re all going blind!

kybernetikos [-]

Actually Jesus did this (in those days, ‘The Law and the Prophets’ was a way of saying ‘The Bible’) :

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Yay, I hope I did not offend anyone. No this is not to blaspheme the name of God but just a jib to elicit some laughs.

What this? If N<=100, what is the number of strings not greater than N in length that will entirely match (case-sensitive) the following regular expression: (ph){1,5}i+l+abs*

Now that my friend is the first question when you are asking for a funding from philabs. What is philabs?

Here's what they say about themselves.

PhiLabs is an idea incubator that provides capital to smart people with new ideas. Where capital is lacking, PhiLabs seeks to reward people who have great and innovative ideas by ensuring that enough capital is available to really develop the idea into a reality and a feasible business.

We at PhiLabs are looking forward in creating new and exciting companies by combining young aspiring entrepreneurs’ ideas, tech skills and business experience into a self sustaining business. In addition to our funding and facilities, we add value by sharing our experience in building and operating companies both offline and online. We provide a conducive environment for both learning and growth for any young entrepreneur.

Nice and dandy right?

Then that question is the first to be filled up when applying for funding.

Here’s my comment about them, I left it at yuga’s site.

Kakainis mga masyadong mayabang.

Smart Bro SurfTV is a device that connects to a television set through a quick and easy procedure, to provide Internet access using Smart Bro’s nationwide coverage. When plugged into the RCA port of a color TV set, Smart Bro SurfTV provides users a ready-to-run Internet experience, and users can surf, chat, and email –- through a multi-tasking TV — at home.
“Over the last few years we have been steadily advancing our Internet for All advocacy and investing our energies to make wireless Internet more affordable and widely available – whether via mobile phone, the PC, or laptop – anytime, anywhere, so that Filipinos may benefit from it. Offering Smart Bro SurfTV is a natural progression of that strategy, this is a service that will put the Internet right in the homes of Filipino families,” said Orlando B. Vea, Chief Wireless Advisor of SMART.

Internet in all homes
Smart Bro SurfTV comes in a boxed set complete with a keyboard, a mouse, a remote control, and a Smart Bro USB stick-type modem with a prepaid SIM, pre-loaded with PhP100 worth of load. The entire kit costs only PhP4,500, and Internet access costs only PhP10 for every 30 minutes. Load for the prepaid Smart Bro SIM is available through any of SMART’s network of over a million Smart Load sellers all over the country.

“Limited access to devices such as desktops computers used to be a barrier to bringing the benefits of the Internet to Filipinos. Even basic desktop computers are still priced beyond what most households can afford. This is what we hope to address through Smart Bro SurfTV. With this service, people can access the Internet using a low-cost device and an appliance they already have,” said Danilo J. Mojica, head of SMART’s Wireless Consumer Division.

I find it interesting because I used to read about the webtv. It went bust during the dotcom burst I think.

Anyhow this is a cool idea. I don’t know much about the specs yet but I hope this runs on linux. And yes I hope their network can accomodate the traffic.

By the way the price is PHP 4,500 pesos (about $100 usd)

from smart press release

Samahan niyo akong ma lss dito.

I have installed their VICIDIAL Predictive Dialer like a year ago. They only used it for manual dialing using eyebeam :( . Anyhow so I tried to login to the MySQL server using the only password I l know and it didint work! So I have no choice but to reset the root password of the Mysql Server.

Ok what do you need in order to reset or change the root password of MySQL?

1) You need root access to the server. If you dont have it, then you are out of luck! Ask your server administrator to execute the next steps.

2) The reason why you need root access is, for you to be able to stop the MySQL daemon. Here’s how to stop the MySQL daemon in Centos:
service mysqld stop

3) Now the next part is to start the MySQL server and also we need to skip the grant tables because its where the password are stored. Here’s how:
mysqld_safe --skip-grant-tables

You thought you’re done? Not yet! You have to open or connect another ssh session in order to enter MySQL server. As what you are going to experience when you’re going to try this howto, is that you dont see any processes or what ever just the cursor blinking :( . Just leave it at that and open up another connection.

So when you are connected to the shell again, log in to the MySQL server by typing this:
mysql -uroot mysql

And then VIOLA! you are now inside the mysql server and as root too! Let’s change the root password of the MySQL server now. You can do that by typing the following command in the MySQL cli or console. The new password of the MySQL server will be pK@t9l5? . Type this: (Change the pK@t9l5? to the password you want to be specified.)
update user set Password=PASSWORD('pK@t9l5?') where user='root';

Then type this command next.
flush privileges;

Last but not the least. We need to exit from the MySQL console:
exit;

That’s it! You have changed the root password of the MySQL server :).

Ok don’t forget to stop the process:
mysqld_safe --skip-grant-tables

Then turn on the MySQL server again by typing:
service mysqld start

Testing posting from posterous. Hope this works :D

Posted via web from op3r’s posterous

Watch and enjoy!

The OS of the thing is based on iPhone. I just soiled my pants. Here’s what the man said:

“Yeah, Very exciting. Yes, they’ll make their announcement tomorrow on this one. We have worked with Apple for quite a while. And the Tablet is going to be based on the iPhone operating system and so it will be transferable. So what you are going to be able to do now is we have a consortium of e-books. And we have 95% of all our materials that are in e-book format on that one. So now with the tablet you’re going to open up the higher education market, the professional market. The tablet is going to be just really terrific.”

The apple tablet is currently a hot topic since IPOD days. A lot of apple fanboys are having wet dreams about a tablet that they can purchase and fap upon. Honestly Im turning into one myself since I got my iPhone last christmas.

Here’s the CNBC interview with the CEO of McGraw-Hill (one of the publishers around)

Time to start saving money eh? :)

Serious stuff going on.